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    It Is the Chancellor’s Decree! All Halloweentown Residents Must Wear Festified Spooky Sweaters on that Hallowed Eve’

    It Is the Chancellor’s Decree! All Halloweentown Residents Must Wear Festified Spooky Sweaters on that Hallowed Eve’

    Posted by John Kaplar on

    BREAKING NEWS: This Halloween, sexy is out, and ugly is in.

    On Thursday, October 2, the Chancellor of Halloweentown — otherwise known as John Kaplar — decreed that neither provocative snowmen, nor seductive cowgirls will roam the streets on that hallowed eve’.

    Hear ye, hear ye. Read all about it.

    Dear people of Halloweentown,

    What was once a cultural observance has become nothing but one last excuse to gallivant through our town in revealing clothing before donning winter’s wool. And I’ve had enough! In the gory ol’ days, Halloween costumes were designed to represent the occasion’s gothic nature, imitating visages of vampires and werewolves and other such scary things; is Frozen’s Olaf scary? I think not.

    To you, she who thinks and thinks, and shops and shops for the most perfect SuperGirl costume — yes, you know who you are — aren’t you a little too old for a cape? Leave the guising to the children. Encourage the children to be ugly. Yes, you heard me right. For one night each year, every child should strive to ugly. Turn your little darlings into the scariest, most grotesque goblins and trolls, and send them out into the world.

    “But, but…” I hear you say. “But, dear Chancellor, what about your other decree?”

    This, I stand by. No adults may don costumes, but none may wear regular clothing, for Halloween is our most holy of days. “But, dear Chancellor, what shall we wear?”

    Sweaters. You shall wear ugly sweaters. Go forth, and shop Festified. I shall entertain no objections, for I am the Chancellor, and the citizens of Halloweentown will do as I say.

    Regards,

    Chancellor John Kaplar

    Halloweentown


    Get Your Ugly Halloween Sweaters Here!

    Festified’s line of Spooky Halloween gear, complete with a sweater dress, a sweater vest, and sweggings — yep, that’s sweater + leggings — sure puts the ugly in ‘ugly sweater’. Decorated with pumpkins and bats, these garments are sure to make even the boogiest of bogeymen look twice.

    You don’t want to know what happens when you disregard the Chancellor’s wishes; order your Spooky Halloween sweater from Festified today!



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