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Where, oh where has 2014 gone? Where, oh where could it be?

A single solitary month from today, one turkey will be pardoned and 46 million — yes, you read that right! One for every 6.9 people who call the United States home. — will be consumed.

But you know what else that means? Ready or not, there are only NINE Fridays left until Christmas. Single digit weeks. One month, 28 days. 59 days.

Whatever what you slice it, the holidays are approaching, and fast!

Light Up the Gobbler

Don’t be the turkey at this year’s family gathering; wear one instead.

The new Lighted Thanksgiving Turkey Sweater (for men) from Festified features an appliqued turkey that looks so real, crazy cousin Jerry just might try to eat your shirt. Hint: Don’t let him. LED lights sewn into the garment let you steam up the room a lot or a little; it all depends on your mood. The lights are controlled via a battery-powered remote that fits perfectly into an embedded pocket inside the sweater.

Buy a small for Tiny Tim, and a 4XL for Paul Bunyan, and then buy five more in every size in between (Medium, Large, X-Large, 2XL, 3XL). This sweater is guaranteed to be a conversation starter around the dinner table. But we meant it: Stay far away from Jerry.

Light Up the Menorah

Sure, 2013 gave the world Thanksgivukkah, but 2014 is the year Chanukah (or Hanukkah, depending on who you ask) gets Festified. Celebrate the holy Festival of Lights in style: We’ve got menorah-printed Sweggings; Chanukah Sweaters that twinkle, and Chanukah sweaters that don’t; we’ve even got a Menorah Hat and Menorah glasses, if you’re feeling especially festive.

Light Up the Christmas Tree

I don’t think you understood me. There are only 59 shopping days left before Christmas. In one month and one day, you’ll be snacking on leftovers and trimming the dead tree in your living room. If you haven’t yet started making holiday purchases, you’re already behind. It’s a good thing you’ve got us to teach you the error of your ways.

Festified is your one-stop-Christmas-shopping destination:

  • Nab a Buffalo Bills Ugly Holiday Sweater for Jim.
  • Pick up a Children’s Sleigh and Reindeer Sweater for Sarah.
  • A Women’s Lighted Tangled Cat Sweater is the perfect way to wish Jan a very Meeeowwy Christmas.
  • Keep Amy’s bottles cozy year-round with a Reindeer Games Wine Sweater.

From Festified, have a happy and safe holiday season!

Says Cindy Lou Who, “You Can Wear A Curly Q Hat Like Mine, Too!”

White dreadlocks for JimmyA top hat for SueThe headband that beckons, “Come kiss me, yes you!”Many people don’t know this, but Santa Claus loves Jamaica. Spends more time there than he does at the North Pole. (Mrs. Claus really wishes he’d spend more time at home, but that’s another story, for another day. Now where was I? Oh yes, Jamaica.) [...]

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An NFL Sweater from Festified Just Might Be Your Team’s Lucky Charm

“Honey, don’t you think you ought to wear something else to dinner?”“No! This is my lucky sweater, and I’m not taking it off until January.”Our dear hero is at it again. He’s donned one of Festified’s best, ugliest, most team spirited NFL sweaters in anticipation of the big Redskins–Cardinals game on Sunday.“But honey, it’s so ugly!”“I don’t care! Maybe if [...]

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It Is the Chancellor’s Decree! All Halloweentown Residents Must Wear Festified Spooky Sweaters on that Hallowed Eve’

BREAKING NEWS: This Halloween, sexy is out, and ugly is in.On Thursday, October 2, the Chancellor of Halloweentown — otherwise known as John Kaplar — decreed that neither provocative snowmen, nor seductive cowgirls will roam the streets on that hallowed eve’.Hear ye, hear ye. Read all about it.Dear people of Halloweentown,What was once a cultural observance has become nothing but [...]

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Festified Supports Cleavage. Do You?

One in eight women living in the United States will get breast cancer in her lifetime. One in eight. More than 200 thousand new cases are diagnosed each year. Approximately 40 thousand will die.Scary, huh? Definitely. With statistics like that, it’s likely that all of our lives will be touched, in some way, by cancer, maybe even breast cancer [...]

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A Tale of Forgotten Favors …or Festified Wine Sweaters to the Rescue

Jamie and Ashley are roommates, and they’re throwing the coolest holiday party on the block. They planned a menu that’s sure to impress even their pickiest of guests; oh, but don’t worry, they’re not doing the cooking — “It pays to be engaged to a chef,” Ashley told Jamie, and they laughed. Oh, how they laughed.Jamie and Ashley spent [...]

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Festive Sweater Retailer Skedouche Gets New Life as Festified

The date is November 17, 2009.Our hero, John Kaplar, sits hunched over a desk in a darkened room, the glow of a laptop illuminating his face. On the screen, a search engine. “Festive Christmas sweater,” he types. The search returns thousands upon thousands of results, but none offer quite what he’s looking for. He tries “tacky Christmas sweater.” Again, [...]

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Tacky Sweaters from Festified Make the Perfect Holiday Gift

Summer vacation is over. Your children are back in school; leaves are beginning to turn colors, and scarves have replaced the tank tops in your closet. Soon, snow will be falling, and carolers will be spreading Christmas cheer. “Ugh!” we hear you saying. “It’s only September, too early to be talking about Christmas.”Here at Festified, it’s never too early [...]

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It’s Football Season Again! Get Your Ugly Sweaters Here

Gentlemen, start your… Wait, that’s the wrong sport.The pigskin has been greased; the coin has been tossed, and the boys of Fall have taken the field. That’s right, tonight the Pittsburgh Steelers travel to Baltimore to take on the reigning Super Bowl champion Ravens in the first regular season NFL matchup.Each year, millions of people crowd around tables [...]

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We Appreciate Your Reviews!

When you write a review for products you might be wondering if your opinion really counts. The answer is always yes! While a company can advertise from day to day those advertisements are never going to be as powerful as a customer’s word of mouth.Leaving feedback lets a company know that they are doing a great job and reminds them to keep [...]

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